Composting Roses

Composting Roses

The scandalous scent of dying roses emits a harbinger for some,
the effluvium of slow vacancy. Water and vase,
mold-laced, overwhelm the room and turn my kitchen thoughts,
wind them 'round filmy, gangrened corners
for a moment,
leaving me sepulchered.

Shunning dim bulb light,
I collapse my spirit,
(-and here:
pause)

partaking
of the great art
of lace-winged
humans,
               to blow hard
into the proverbial handkerchief
and wait until the dawn will rise (not rose)

And petal-death scent fades
to give way to something cleaner
and honest, like the harsh gulping of black coffee in ceramic and clay.



...

I'm interested to hear your thoughts. I enjoy playing with white space in poetry, and using font styling and punctuation to more accurately reflect an impression. What is conjured for you? What do you like about it? What do you dislike about it? My hope is that there is much to interact with, much to contemplate. I realize it's a bit obtuse and I beg you to get past the very rational "what the heck?!" knee-jerk reaction to phrases like, "effluvium of slow vacancy" and take the time to go deeper. Follow the train of thought throughout each sentence, take it slow, and ask yourself what you see, feel, and are reminded of when, during, and after reading. Again, I'd love to hear your thoughts.


In other news, my publisher and I have decided to lower the retail price of the paperback of Wolves and Men to $11.99! I honestly looked for the absolute lowest price I could possibly afford because my greatest priority is to share the book with as many readers as possible!

The up-to-date list of locations for purchase are:

-Full Circle Bookstore, Oklahoma City, OK
-Hastings Books, Yukon, OK
-BDC Gunroom, Shawnee, OK
-Blue Seven, Oklahoma City, OK
-Steep and Savor (Click the Wolves and Men, A Novel tab above)
-www.beecreativeinc.com
-www.barnesandnoble.com

You can also find the ebook version at a ridiculously low price at:

-www.amazon.com


If you haven't had a chance yet, please add your review of Wolves and Men on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, and Goodreads.com.

Thank you for reading!

Sincerely,

Natasha W. 

Giveaway at The Pen and Whisk

I'm so excited to share that the talented blogger, editor, and book reviewer Katie Dupre is hosting a giveaway of Wolves and Men on her blog, The Pen and Whisk!

Follow the link to enter to win! A winner will be chosen tomorrow (Friday) afternoon!

http://www.thepenandwhisk.com/2015/02/giveaway-wolves-and-men.html

Good luck!

...

Who are your favorite must-read bloggers out there?

What kind of content do you like to find in a blog?

The Great Exotic Elsewhere

Lake Thunderbird

I used to dream about going far away and being somebody else. I often wondered with great distress how I would ever get to a, b, or c, (<insert names of glorified European countries) and how could I ever become this other, more exotic, more interesting person? And when I thought of the possibility that I may never get there and may never be some other person...well, it was depressing. 

One thing that writing has taught me is to stop looking far away and zero in on the life you’ve been given. Instead of aching to be someone who is taller, shorter, older, skinnier, smarter, or someone with a fascinating accent and a history entirely different from your own...pay attention to what you have and where you are. 

In Italy, speaking italian isn’t exotic, and in France, it isn’t necessarily interesting to be French. They are just people, too. And the places they grew up in are just their hometowns. That Great Exotic Elsewhere is another human’s backyard. It is the canvas for their mundane, everyday experiences. And yet, when I truly grasp this, it opens my eyes to the eccentricities and beauty of my own backyard, my hometown, my people, and my story.  I don’t know the history or the intricate movements of an italian’s backyard. I only know mine that way. (Okay, so technically I just moved and I don’t know my own backyard very well. But bear with me here. This isn’t just a lesson for writers.)

What I’m saying is, in order to dig deep and write to the best of my ability, I had to get into the practice of engaging with my very own life. Instead of viewing my upbringing in Little Axe, Oklahoma, America (rather than, say, Paris, France) as a burden of limitations, I began to see it as something that can be grounding and fresh, like nourishing roots. Instead of viewing my everydayness as mundane, I began to look at my life as a thing that only I can be truly intimate with. Nobody knows my life like I do. Nobody knows what it’s like to be in Natasha’s skin, to have grown up daydreaming out the window of Bus Number Nine, or to have explored the snowy woods of my front yard with my brother and loyal border collie, Molly. I own that story. And my history, hometown, family, and fellow Oklahomans are all a well of nourishment I draw on when I’m writing a novel, such as Wolves and Men. I’m not from the Great Exotic Elsewhere. I’m from the Right Here. I’m from Little Axe. I’m from dusty summer roads, rose rock gardens, red clay ditches, Lake “Dirty Bird” biking trails, and mimosa-lined highways. It’s the view to which I’ve been given a front row seat, and it’s something I’ve learned to embrace.

So, with that said, I challenge you to do the same. How would someone who grew up on the other side of the world view your history and your story, except as something exotic, fresh, and fascinating? Nobody knows your story like you do. But it takes being intentional in order to see our own lives with fresh, creative eyes. Value your own, intimate perspective of the world. See it for the truly unique and interesting thing it is. And then tell me about it. I’d love to hear from you. 

...

Can you describe a scene, moment, or image that only you own? 

Have you ever been somewhere you’d always wanted to visit, only to find out it wasn’t as amazing as you’d expected? 

...

I will be at the Bean and Berry Coffee in the Shawnee Mall on Saturday, February 28th from 1pm to 3pm, signing books, giving away free bookmarks, and hosting a gift card giveaway! Come purchase a book, get it signed, chat about the book, pick up your free bookmark, and enter to win! 

I will also be at the March INK event at Full Circle Books in OKC on Saturday, March 21st from 3pm to 5pm to sign books and chat about Wolves and Men! 

An August Evening: Poetry To Honor And Heal

Generally speaking, I hate sad movies and books.

As a kid, I hated going on field trips to the bombing memorial in Oklahoma City. My mother tells me that those trips (two of them as a child) left me depressed for days. I still remember walking through the room that had the cases of shoes and toys and other paraphernalia leftover from the men, women, and children who were killed in the explosion. Just remembering being there- just remembering remembering makes me sick to my stomach. 

I’ve always told myself I can’t handle it when it comes to the sorrow and grief of others. And yet, I don’t think I could write a word of fiction with even an ounce of heart and conviction if I didn’t make myself handle it to some extent. 

So, why enter in into the pain of others? Perhaps because I can’t stand the thought of people suffering alone. I suppose I feel that if I can make myself feel even a tiny amount of what they are feeling when mourning the loss of another, then in that way and in that moment, they are not alone. I’m standing there with them, not because I have to, but purely by choice. And I guess that amounts to something.

Last summer, I wrote a poem while sitting outside in my backyard, struggling with the fact that a church member and leader and friend was fighting a hard fight against cancer. Two months later, like a punch in the stomach, I heard the news that he passed away. 

There is much to be said about the incandescent promise of spending eternity with Christ. On his behalf, there is perhaps nothing to mourn. But gosh, I hate death. I hate that a person can be an active and positive force in our lives one moment, and be irrevocably gone from this earth the next. It’s that sense of loss and powerlessness to bring back what was taken from us that drives me crazy. 

Since then, there have been a slew of tragedies in and around my family. I hurt for the loss of dear people taken from this earth, and I hurt for those who knew them even better than I. I want to shake my fist at the sky and kick something and shout profanities. I want to tell death, “No!” 

The truth is, for all my theological pondering and eschatological studying, death still leaves a sting for me. It hurts me that people I love are hurting. It hurts me that there is a gaping wound in the heart of those who mourn the loss of a loved one. I even have my own gaping wounds to live with. Maybe we all do. 

Perhaps there is nothing I can do about it- this death, and this pain. I have no power to bring back those we’ve lost. Furthermore, I’m not a counselor, and can think of nothing to say to console those who are hurting. But I think poetry at least helps me to process and heal. It helps me to remember and commemorate those I’ve lost, and also to communicate my frustration, sans profanities. It’s also a way I hope to honor both those gone from us and those who are hurting. 

Below is that poem I wrote, depicting my frustration with our friend’s illness at that time, the contrasting beauty of nature on that particular evening, and our necessary surrender to the sovereignty of God who continues to remind me that, in spite of every hardship, He is still in control. 

For a wise and generous encourager and minister from our Bridgeway Church family, Bob Willis.

An August Evening

We sat thinking and speaking of life

and cancer as the subtle wind blew 

through the clothespins, knocking, and swaying

the line (empty and thin)

hanging just beneath the sky

            -a slightly yellowed luminescence, 

(what we called the underbelly hue)

and let ourselves be enchanted

for just a green-grass moment 

          -grown too tall and feeling the henbit 

slipping beneath our toes to remind us 

of Nana’s yard some twenty years ago,

(a score too late) as we aged in the dimming light

and felt the breath move back, then forth

across the landscape of our lives.

.....



What specific pieces of art come to mind that help you heal and comfort you through the grieving process? Any specific songs, films, poems, or books?

Hello, Champagne!

From the Hitchcock film, Rope: "What do you say to a glass of champagne?" "Hello, champagne!"

The new year dawns on us once again, bringing along with it new ambitions, a growing list of goals, and renewed hope. I know that for me, 2014 was a particularly challenging year. I had the privilege of completing and publishing my first novel, held my first book signings, bought my first house, and gave birth to my second child.

My best friend, Molly, and my young, always reading self.

On the subject of my first novel, Wolves and Men, I want to send out a special word of thanks to all of you who have been so supportive in making 2014 the year for a fantastic book launch, for “sharing” posts on facebook, for purchasing copies of the paperback and ebook, attending events and telling your friends about the novel. I certainly could not have done it without you! 

I am in the process of setting down plans for advertising the book online, speaking at book club meetings, scheduling more signing events, and getting the book in circulation in libraries. I am so excited about the prospect of what the Lord wants to do with my writing this year, and hope you’ll join me in prayer and anticipation. 

Without actually intending to do so, I’ve begun writing my second novel. It is in the very early stages, but I have a feeling the writing process for the second will be much quicker and smoother than the first. I am thrilled to begin the process anew, to push my limits and challenge myself as a writer and novelist. 

Here are a few of my tentative goals for 2015, much of which I hope will aide me in writing novel number two:

Natalie Gouldberg, author of Writing Down the Bones

1. Reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg from cover to cover.
2. Studying the poetry of a few different poets: Mary Oliver and Robert Frost, just to name a couple. 
3. Reading the works of some comparable authors to myself- I have yet to find a book to compare to Wolves and Men, so if you happen across something, please let me know!
4. Reading a few of my husband’s favorite authors: Cormac McCarthy, Willa Cather, and Marilynne Robinson. 
5. Creating new and better content on this blog, my twitter feed, and Instagram. 
6. Conducting a poetry series- writing better poetry than ever before.
7. Expanding my reading of favorite authors such as C.S. Lewis, Carolyn Weber, William Faulkner, and Leo Tolstoy. 

What are some of your goals for 2015? 

What (or who) is on your reading list? 

Which authors do you find yourself coming back to again and again?