The Great Exotic Elsewhere

Lake Thunderbird

I used to dream about going far away and being somebody else. I often wondered with great distress how I would ever get to a, b, or c, (<insert names of glorified European countries) and how could I ever become this other, more exotic, more interesting person? And when I thought of the possibility that I may never get there and may never be some other person...well, it was depressing. 

One thing that writing has taught me is to stop looking far away and zero in on the life you’ve been given. Instead of aching to be someone who is taller, shorter, older, skinnier, smarter, or someone with a fascinating accent and a history entirely different from your own...pay attention to what you have and where you are. 

In Italy, speaking italian isn’t exotic, and in France, it isn’t necessarily interesting to be French. They are just people, too. And the places they grew up in are just their hometowns. That Great Exotic Elsewhere is another human’s backyard. It is the canvas for their mundane, everyday experiences. And yet, when I truly grasp this, it opens my eyes to the eccentricities and beauty of my own backyard, my hometown, my people, and my story.  I don’t know the history or the intricate movements of an italian’s backyard. I only know mine that way. (Okay, so technically I just moved and I don’t know my own backyard very well. But bear with me here. This isn’t just a lesson for writers.)

What I’m saying is, in order to dig deep and write to the best of my ability, I had to get into the practice of engaging with my very own life. Instead of viewing my upbringing in Little Axe, Oklahoma, America (rather than, say, Paris, France) as a burden of limitations, I began to see it as something that can be grounding and fresh, like nourishing roots. Instead of viewing my everydayness as mundane, I began to look at my life as a thing that only I can be truly intimate with. Nobody knows my life like I do. Nobody knows what it’s like to be in Natasha’s skin, to have grown up daydreaming out the window of Bus Number Nine, or to have explored the snowy woods of my front yard with my brother and loyal border collie, Molly. I own that story. And my history, hometown, family, and fellow Oklahomans are all a well of nourishment I draw on when I’m writing a novel, such as Wolves and Men. I’m not from the Great Exotic Elsewhere. I’m from the Right Here. I’m from Little Axe. I’m from dusty summer roads, rose rock gardens, red clay ditches, Lake “Dirty Bird” biking trails, and mimosa-lined highways. It’s the view to which I’ve been given a front row seat, and it’s something I’ve learned to embrace.

So, with that said, I challenge you to do the same. How would someone who grew up on the other side of the world view your history and your story, except as something exotic, fresh, and fascinating? Nobody knows your story like you do. But it takes being intentional in order to see our own lives with fresh, creative eyes. Value your own, intimate perspective of the world. See it for the truly unique and interesting thing it is. And then tell me about it. I’d love to hear from you. 

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Can you describe a scene, moment, or image that only you own? 

Have you ever been somewhere you’d always wanted to visit, only to find out it wasn’t as amazing as you’d expected? 

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I will be at the Bean and Berry Coffee in the Shawnee Mall on Saturday, February 28th from 1pm to 3pm, signing books, giving away free bookmarks, and hosting a gift card giveaway! Come purchase a book, get it signed, chat about the book, pick up your free bookmark, and enter to win! 

I will also be at the March INK event at Full Circle Books in OKC on Saturday, March 21st from 3pm to 5pm to sign books and chat about Wolves and Men! 

An August Evening: Poetry To Honor And Heal

Generally speaking, I hate sad movies and books.

As a kid, I hated going on field trips to the bombing memorial in Oklahoma City. My mother tells me that those trips (two of them as a child) left me depressed for days. I still remember walking through the room that had the cases of shoes and toys and other paraphernalia leftover from the men, women, and children who were killed in the explosion. Just remembering being there- just remembering remembering makes me sick to my stomach. 

I’ve always told myself I can’t handle it when it comes to the sorrow and grief of others. And yet, I don’t think I could write a word of fiction with even an ounce of heart and conviction if I didn’t make myself handle it to some extent. 

So, why enter in into the pain of others? Perhaps because I can’t stand the thought of people suffering alone. I suppose I feel that if I can make myself feel even a tiny amount of what they are feeling when mourning the loss of another, then in that way and in that moment, they are not alone. I’m standing there with them, not because I have to, but purely by choice. And I guess that amounts to something.

Last summer, I wrote a poem while sitting outside in my backyard, struggling with the fact that a church member and leader and friend was fighting a hard fight against cancer. Two months later, like a punch in the stomach, I heard the news that he passed away. 

There is much to be said about the incandescent promise of spending eternity with Christ. On his behalf, there is perhaps nothing to mourn. But gosh, I hate death. I hate that a person can be an active and positive force in our lives one moment, and be irrevocably gone from this earth the next. It’s that sense of loss and powerlessness to bring back what was taken from us that drives me crazy. 

Since then, there have been a slew of tragedies in and around my family. I hurt for the loss of dear people taken from this earth, and I hurt for those who knew them even better than I. I want to shake my fist at the sky and kick something and shout profanities. I want to tell death, “No!” 

The truth is, for all my theological pondering and eschatological studying, death still leaves a sting for me. It hurts me that people I love are hurting. It hurts me that there is a gaping wound in the heart of those who mourn the loss of a loved one. I even have my own gaping wounds to live with. Maybe we all do. 

Perhaps there is nothing I can do about it- this death, and this pain. I have no power to bring back those we’ve lost. Furthermore, I’m not a counselor, and can think of nothing to say to console those who are hurting. But I think poetry at least helps me to process and heal. It helps me to remember and commemorate those I’ve lost, and also to communicate my frustration, sans profanities. It’s also a way I hope to honor both those gone from us and those who are hurting. 

Below is that poem I wrote, depicting my frustration with our friend’s illness at that time, the contrasting beauty of nature on that particular evening, and our necessary surrender to the sovereignty of God who continues to remind me that, in spite of every hardship, He is still in control. 

For a wise and generous encourager and minister from our Bridgeway Church family, Bob Willis.

An August Evening

We sat thinking and speaking of life

and cancer as the subtle wind blew 

through the clothespins, knocking, and swaying

the line (empty and thin)

hanging just beneath the sky

            -a slightly yellowed luminescence, 

(what we called the underbelly hue)

and let ourselves be enchanted

for just a green-grass moment 

          -grown too tall and feeling the henbit 

slipping beneath our toes to remind us 

of Nana’s yard some twenty years ago,

(a score too late) as we aged in the dimming light

and felt the breath move back, then forth

across the landscape of our lives.

.....



What specific pieces of art come to mind that help you heal and comfort you through the grieving process? Any specific songs, films, poems, or books?

Hello, Champagne!

From the Hitchcock film, Rope: "What do you say to a glass of champagne?" "Hello, champagne!"

The new year dawns on us once again, bringing along with it new ambitions, a growing list of goals, and renewed hope. I know that for me, 2014 was a particularly challenging year. I had the privilege of completing and publishing my first novel, held my first book signings, bought my first house, and gave birth to my second child.

My best friend, Molly, and my young, always reading self.

On the subject of my first novel, Wolves and Men, I want to send out a special word of thanks to all of you who have been so supportive in making 2014 the year for a fantastic book launch, for “sharing” posts on facebook, for purchasing copies of the paperback and ebook, attending events and telling your friends about the novel. I certainly could not have done it without you! 

I am in the process of setting down plans for advertising the book online, speaking at book club meetings, scheduling more signing events, and getting the book in circulation in libraries. I am so excited about the prospect of what the Lord wants to do with my writing this year, and hope you’ll join me in prayer and anticipation. 

Without actually intending to do so, I’ve begun writing my second novel. It is in the very early stages, but I have a feeling the writing process for the second will be much quicker and smoother than the first. I am thrilled to begin the process anew, to push my limits and challenge myself as a writer and novelist. 

Here are a few of my tentative goals for 2015, much of which I hope will aide me in writing novel number two:

Natalie Gouldberg, author of Writing Down the Bones

1. Reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg from cover to cover.
2. Studying the poetry of a few different poets: Mary Oliver and Robert Frost, just to name a couple. 
3. Reading the works of some comparable authors to myself- I have yet to find a book to compare to Wolves and Men, so if you happen across something, please let me know!
4. Reading a few of my husband’s favorite authors: Cormac McCarthy, Willa Cather, and Marilynne Robinson. 
5. Creating new and better content on this blog, my twitter feed, and Instagram. 
6. Conducting a poetry series- writing better poetry than ever before.
7. Expanding my reading of favorite authors such as C.S. Lewis, Carolyn Weber, William Faulkner, and Leo Tolstoy. 

What are some of your goals for 2015? 

What (or who) is on your reading list? 

Which authors do you find yourself coming back to again and again?

In Review: The Moviegoer by Walker Percy

As I write this, I just finished reading Walker Percy’s The Moviegoer. It wasn’t by any means the most thorough reading I’ve done, and for that I feel that much was lost on me. I had to take a break of several weeks, due largely to my book signing tour, but also (I’m not ashamed to say) the energy-draining demands of pregnancy.

 I’m always touting my own two personal goals as a reader: To read good and read well. And yet, I didn’t read this incredibly good book nearly as well as I would have liked. However, I read the last quarter of the book nearly in one sitting, and so perhaps allowed myself to become properly engrossed in the world of Binx Bolling’s life and somewhat unstructured journey. 

I hesitate to attempt to write a review, analysis, or even a summary of this book. Rather, I will be content to ramble on a bit in my humble attempt to let the literature properly steep and to savor it before jumping into my next book. 

Binx is on a spiritual quest- a theme I love to come across in literature, as with Levin in Anna Karenina and Pierre in War and Peace. That sense of feral lostness is something that drew me in to the character of Holden in The Catcher in the Rye, and aroused empathy in me for the irrational Holly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote. Yes, he is on a spiritual quest and feels keenly the yawning sehnsucht in his life as a young southern stock broker and war veteran in the 1950’s. He feels the call, but becomes increasingly restless in his lack of success in satiating that unidentifiable yearning.

I first heard of The Moviegoer when my husband introduced me to the prolific and (in many senses of the word) challenging writing of blogger/author/journalist Brett McCracken. His blog, at www.stillsearching.wordpress.com is inspired by Percy’s novel, and is one to add to your subscriptions if you enjoy being challenged by what you read. 

A key quote from The Moviegoer: 

"What is the nature of the search? you ask. Really it is very simple; at least for a fellow like me. So simple that it is easily overlooked. The search is what anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the everydayness of his own life."

I couldn’t help but constantly compare Bolling in a favorable light next to Holden Caulfield. While the two share the same sense of lostness and struggle to cope with the social demands surrounding them, they also have an interesting way of interacting with complete strangers and exhibit a kind of ingratiating candidness that I imagine is rare outside of any fiction. However, there are several acute differences: Binx is markedly more mature, intelligent, and self-controlled. After a while of reading Binx’s metaphysical musings and Percy’s exquisite descriptions, poor Holden begins to sound excessively whiny, dramatic, immature, and, well, a lot less interesting. Granted, Holden is intended to be those things; he is an adolescent. But I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to discover the grownup version of the Holden charm. 

I will say that the one thing Binx lacked for me was a truly meaningful punch. I grew tired of his passivity, understated behavior and replies to the people around him. And, admittedly, some of Percy’s descriptions sounded so unique, and took so many liberties with the English language, that I began to doubt their very meaning. I think a lot of readers are satisfied with language that sounds nice and are impressed with a certain level of verbal acrobatics, but if the author fails to actually communicate something in the process of saying it beautifully, then I think it never should have ended up in print. I can’t definitely lay that claim on Percy, as it may very well be my own inadequacies that cause the breakdown in the communication, but it is enough to make me wonder if other readers felt the same.

Aside from those two small disagreements with Percy’s writing (and I think a book is not properly digested until you’ve discovered one or two things with which you disagree), I really do love and appreciate the protagonist. 

But it is not Binx that pulls on my heartstrings. It’s his cousin and love interest, Kate, who is constantly on the verge of coming completely unhinged. She wavers dangerously on the brink of suicide, uttering fantastic contradictions in an effort to explain herself to Binx, who is inexplicably able to reach through to her in a way that nobody else can. I was struck by the way these two almost certainly are the same person, as Kate insists that they are. And yet, I wondered, can they be good for each other? Can they help one another? 

A few random quotes to entice you to read the book yourself: 

“It was ten years ago that I last rode a train, from San Francisco to New Orleans, and so ten years since I last enjoyed the peculiar gnosis of trains, stood on the eminence from which there is revealed both the sorry litter of the past and the future bright and simple as can be, and the going itself, one’s privileged progress through the world.” 

“Kate is shaking like a leaf because she longs to be an anyone who is anywhere and she cannot.” 

“I no longer eat and sleep regularly or write philosophical notes in my notebook and my fingernails are dirty.” 

“The moon hangs westering and yellow over winter fields as blackened and ancient and haunted as battlegrounds.”

SPOILER ALERT:

I was surprised to compare my own interpretation with what I could find online. I suppose one was meant to come away with a feeling of defeat- that Kate and Binx submitted to the demands of society and resorted themselves to a dissatisfying life of boredom and meaninglessness. I didn’t come away with that impression, however. 

The ending is subtle and does not answer all the questions, but perhaps softens the madness with a peaceful and (for me, anyway) profound depiction of compassion. Does Binx find the answers he’s looking for? Perhaps not (or, says the optimist, perhaps not yet), but I do think he is onto something. We cannot taste the healing balm of compassion without having come a step or two closer to knowing Christ. And as Christ is the only satisfying end to anyone’s “search,” and the fulfillment of that sehnsucht which I believe is hardwired in all of us for the very purpose of pointing us to our very need for Christ, I am at least encouraged to know our protagonist has made it thus far in his journey. 

In short, although Percy doesn't provide the answers, he paints the question masterfully. 

I highly recommend Percy's novel to anyone who appreciates the sometimes sharp-edged musings and journey depicted in The Catcher in the Rye. I highly recommend it to anyone who has felt that unidentifiable yearning, that nostalgic something just out of reach, or who is perhaps on their own search for the meaning of life. I hope you'll read it. And if you've already read it, let me know what you think.

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What was your take on The Moviegoer, for those who have read it?

What blogs do you find challenging and recommend for me to read?

A Halloween Poem and My Last Book Signing Event for 2014

Is it really true that Halloween will be here in just a week? The calendar insists it is so. Therefore, I’m sharing a poem I wrote two years ago, inspired by the style of the lofty Robert Burns. Prepare yourself for whimsy!

Also, my final Book Signing Event for 2014 will be held at Hastings in Norman, OK, tomorrow evening from 6pm-8pm. Come get your book signed, chat with the author (that's me!), take a free bookmark, and enter to win a gift card. I’m so looking forward to seeing you there! These events always allow me to meet new people and fellow book-lovers, which I enjoy so much. Of course, I'm also looking forward to seeing some familiar faces! 

The Kit and the Kettle

by Natasha Wittman

All black and lithe, the young kit hides

among the rocks and brittle grain

where brave barn cats with kippers had

may dip their dainty paws in rain.

Against the sleeping dog she rubs her back

and purrs while scuttling from the eaves.

A pause beneath the bush and limbs, her fluffy tush 

she feathers ‘gainst the thickest bark and leaves.

While in the house, the Humming Wife

a white-haired matron sighs,

and sets upon the stove the metal pot,

a kettle for her tea and rye. 

The aproned Misses muses still

and hastens to the rising shrill;

the whistle whines and streams its steam,

-The Melodic Spout begins to sing!

‘Til Naughty Kit jumps o’er the flame

and tackles by her mettle, Great Metallic Beast

-The Brute! She conquers the cruelest

the meanest, The Steamest!

More peril than all her past pursuits!

She hisses ‘mid the boiling brew, until

-Alas! the Kit has killed the Kettle

and the Whistler has become the Mute. 

...

Did you know there is a section in Wolves and Men about Halloween? 

What are some of your favorite Halloween traditions?

All About Cha, Elemental Coffee, and a New Event Added to the Schedule

 My publishing team and I had a great weekend at our first two signing events.

 Below are photos from our premier event at All About Cha. 

Andrea and Brad won the vintage copy of The Spy Who Came in From the Cold along with their signed copy of Wolves and Men! 

I’m excited to mail out this gift card to the winner of our giveaway from our All About Cha gift card drawing! 

I finally took a picture of my Goguma Latte (after drinking half of it, of course), along with one of the bookmarks we’re giving away at each signing.

My view from the signing table at Elemental Coffee on Saturday evening. I forgot to take more pictures as we were busy meeting new people, signing books, and giving away free stuff! I’ll be mailing out a gift card later this week to the winner of the Elemental giveaway. 

Also, we have a new event added to the October Schedule! Come join me for an evening in Shawnee, OK, on Friday October 17th from 6pm to 7pm at the Main Street Art Show and Live Music Event, downtown. I’ll be signing books and giving out free bookmarks while enjoying the art and live music. As always, you’ll have the opportunity to enter for a chance to win a free gift card! 

You can now find the complete schedule on the Wolves and Men, A Novel tab up above. This page will reflect any changes in the future, as well. 

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There are still four events left for the month! Which one are you planning to attend? 

For those who have finished reading the book: What do you think of the book's overall look, design, and feel? 

What are some of your favorite things to look forward to in the Autumn season?

Spotlighting Tonight's Event: An Evening at All About Cha Stylish Tea and Coffee

Join me tonight for coffee, tea, dinner, or dessert (or all four) at All About Cha Stylish Tea and Coffee in Edmond from 6pm-8pm. 

What can you expect at tonight’s event? 

• I’ll have a table set up with copies of the Wolves & Men paperback available for purchase and signing!

•  I’ll also have free bookmarks on the table, as well as an E-mail List Sign-up Sheet for a chance to win a gift card at the end of the evening! This will be a come-and-go event, so I'll contact the winner of the giveaway using the contact information provided. 

• I’m especially looking forward to visiting with you, and if you’ve read the book already, hearing your thoughts and impressions! 

Remember: The first person to purchase a copy of the paperback at my table will also receive this beautiful vintage copy of the ultimate spy classic: The Spy Who Came In From The Cold by John LeCarré. You can find out more about why that novel is a personal favorite of mine by reading my review posted here: 

http://steepandsavor.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-ultimate-spy-classic-review.html

So, what are my personal recommendations for enjoying an evening at All About Cha (Edmond)? 

I am in love with the Goguma (Sweet Potato) Latte! It’s coffee/caffeine free, and has a smooth, subtle sweetness to it that you just have to try. All About Cha also has a steady supply of Macaroons available in a gorgeous array of pastels. Their lineup of unique beverages, lunch/dinner menu items, and desserts is altogether impressive, and even award winning- so come prepared to make some difficult choices! If I’m in the mood for coffee, I’ll usually stick with an Iced Cappuccino or a Caramel Macchiato, though the cooler weather usually drives me back to that ever-seductive Goguma Latte.

I've been planning to post a picture of my beloved Cha beverage for some time. But, alas, I seem to drink them down before I remember! 

Come check out All About Cha- and of course, Wolves & Men, for yourself! I look forward to seeing you there!

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What are your favorite menu items from All About Cha in Edmond or OKC? 

What are some of your other favorite Edmond hot spots? 

What do you look forward to most when attending a book signing event?